As small firm architects, work/life balance plays a critical role in the success of our businesses, as well as the success of our families.
In Annmarie’s and my case (and I hope it will be the case with many sole proprietor and small firm architects) our work and our life have integrated themselves into one continuous and often wonderful experience. For those who fight this integration, the constant struggle between these two most important roles leads to a failing firm, or worse… a forgotten family.
When work and life are out of balance, it becomes abundantly clear. The result of such an imbalance is stress; and lots of it.
When our attention and intention are appropriately distributed between our firm and our family, stress is reduced. This does not mean, equal time in equal proportion. A proper integration allows each role to take precedent and priority when appropriate or necessary.
Sometimes work gets in the way of life and sometimes, life gets in the way of our work.
Small firm architects have a very difficult time keeping work and life separate. As married business partners with a family, it’s impossible. When working from a home office, and when immersed in the daily activities of our children, attempting to keep work and life separate leads only to disappointment and frustration.
So, how do we keep our stress within a reasonable level for architects? (We need to be realistic here… stress isn’t going away as long as we have clients.) How do we balance our time, efforts and attention between our firm and our family?
Success comes when we stop trying to keep them balanced.
Accepting our work and life as one fully integrated experience allows us to distribute our time appropriately for each. We schedule everything on one calendar. Annmarie’s schedule is side-by side with my schedule and our kids’ schedules are distributed among all the other most critical dates.
If it’s important enough to stress over, then its important enough to schedule. Our client meetings, project deadlines, school plays and doctor appointments are all listed side-by-side.
Allowing work hours into our personal time (evening meetings) gives us the permission to allow our personal time into our work hours (not missing my kids’ swim meets).
Living a balanced life is not easy. It’s like balancing an elephant on a beach ball.
It’s not about equal time every day or sacrificing one for the other. It’s about being intentional and living the life we choose to live. It’s about being productive and efficient with our work, so we will have time to do the things that truly matter most.
How do YOU live a balanced life? Have you integrated your work and your life? Do you have any tips that help you live the life you choose to live?
Let’s talk.
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photo credit: visionshare via photopin cc
Hi Mark. Great post about a tricky topic. I Definitely agree that living a balanced life is critical but not easy. Summer is an especially difficult time to find balance. With kids out of school, trips to take, adventures calling, and gardens that need attention, it can be hard to find the time to work. It is important to schedule everything, which for me often means working in the evenings, which fortunately works for me although it may not for everyone. I believe this is one of the benefits of being a sole proprietor, that I can take on a lighter work load in the summer and make my own schedule. My husband also works for himself so we can juggle our schedules based on who has the most imminent deadline. It tends to work out that when one has to get something done, the other can be with the kids.
In addition to work and family, I find it absolutely critical that I schedule in some ‘me’ time for exercise, not only for my health, but for my sanity too. This is often the first to go when you’re too busy, but I truely believe that allowing time for myself and excercise, makes me happier and more productive in everything else I do. This time is often when I do some of my best thinking too, about my projects or my kids which makes the me time of double value.
Yes. I completely agree Donna. It is VERY important to schedule time for ourselves. I wake up early every morning and go for a walk in the woods. It keeps me (semi) fit and is a great way to get the creative juices flowing. Some of my best posts have started on my morning walk.
Thanks for your thoughts. It sounds like you’ve been spying on me. You are describing my life… gardens and all : )
I always enjoy reading your musings, Mark, because I can so identify. I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the idea of allowing personal time to enter into your work life. We all seem to let work enter our personal life, but the former is something we might always tend to want to fight. As a small business owner, it’s imperative, though, to learn to take whatever time one needs to take care of things on the personal side in the middle of the workday, if necessary. This is especially true when kids are involved, and, as Donna put it, especially true in the summer when you’ve got them on your hands more of the time! We’ve got to learn to say, “it’s okay.” I started my architectural firm out of my house with a first grader and a kindergartener (the younger just graduated from college this past May, btw). It was very challenging for may of those years as they were growing up, but I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to do it all over again. I look at it as we didn’t have to put our kids in daycare, and that a parent was always there when the kids got home from school every day. Thankfully, my wife had (has) a good job! That helps! Being in that situation, you just have to learn to find other appropriate times to get the work done. I always found getting up early on a Saturday morning when everyone else was sound asleep was a great time to focus and get some work done. I didn’t have to commute and I could work in my boxers! (okay, too much of a visual there… sorry). Anyway, keep the thoughts coming… always fun to read!
Very funny Greg. Thanks for the comment.
Somewhat of topic, but related, I’ve started using a time sheet timer for everything I do that is work related, not just what’s billable. I’ve discovered that I spend a LOT of time just answering e-mails, for clients, and non-clients, reading articles, etc. knowing how much time I’m spending on non-billable work during the day makes me want to focus on my productively, so I’m not consistently spending every evening and spare hour over the weekend, “catching up” on billable work and trying to meet deadlines.
What are you using to track your time?
Mark
Your Dad and I are VERY proud of the complete life you and Annmarie have made for yourselves. You have a good life and wonderful children you can be very proud of. Keep up the great job.
Love you, MOM & DAD xo
Mark,
Are you using any type of a task management system? I recently bought David Allen’s book “Getting Things Done” (GTD). It is taking some time getting use to, but I have found it very helpful to organize both my work and personal tasks. If I know what has to be done and when, I can adjust my schedule for family time, or even “my” time.
I also wanted to take this time to thank you. I purchased your documents and have started incorporating them into this system. Your project checklist and methodology for phase advancement has been extremely helpful.
Craig:
I recently started using Nozbe, which is based on the GTD system. So far I like it, but as with any system, it will only be successful if I use it. Trying hard to start some new routines.
Thanks for the endorsement for the Foundations docs. I am glad they are useful for you. Keep me posted.
Thanks Mark for granting me permission not to be stressed. Well said.
Hi Mark and Welcome Donna.
I found that it helped when I realized that I can only really be a part time architect. There are a ton of articles telling us how we need to spend 60 hours a week as sole proprietors running our own firms. With approximately 6 hours a day for 4 days a week available plus the occasional evening after the 9 when the kids are in bed and the chores are done (which I usually pay for over the next few days) there is really no chance for even 40 hours and a comparable paycheck. My business plan is, at this point simple – to earn more than if I worked a minimum wage job for 40 hours a week which is about all I’m qualified to do otherwise, if even that. Maybe when the kids are older I’ll be able to work more and earn more. It can be a bit tough though when I hear that recent grads of architecture schools have starting salaries twice mine and I can’t even stop for an ice cream cone with my daughter because I’m too broke.
I hear you Bob. Part time is where I am at too. My hope is that I stay in the game long enough to where both kids are in 1st grade (3 more years) and then hoping the econonmy has improved enough that there is actually more work to do. I think our timing to have kids was perfect Bob.
The important lesson I’ve learned in trying to live a balanced life is that I need to value myself more. I was not created to be invaluable. Be it more time for myself and my family, more variety to the me time or more stretching of my giving/sharing time, if I value me more, others find me more valuable. Note: this is not advocating taking it to the extreme called selfishness, always be willing to give where you can, as this increases your self worth the quickest.
When moonlighting as a draftsman I considered my efforts of little $$ worth. It wasn’t my full time job. I didn’t have a license. The work was on simple projects. But, I was helping others get a small project done without busting their budget on design fees. There are lots of these projects, but I wasn’t making a lot of money and was often stressed or frustrated. Then I realized my work was like mud and taping closets. I have just as many corners and edges as a large living room, just not as much open straight calm runs. Only when I started thinking I was valuable enough to do and charge for ‘living rooms’, did the owners of ‘living room’ projects value me as worthy to do theirs. As my self worth increased, the ‘living room’ projects turned into ‘whole house’ and even ‘large building’ projects. Part of that increase in self worth came from completing the licensing process. Some from putting my wife through school and raising four wonderful children. Even more came when, as I raised my prices, the quality and quantity of projects and opportunities increased. Now, blessed with a better understanding of the economics I take more time to give, relax and enjoy what comes my way or I am drawn to. And that increases my life’s balance and self worth.
That is a fantastic testament from a true Entrepreneur Architect. Thanks for sharing.
Mark,
My wife and I also use shared calendars to track personal and business events. It sure makes keeping everything coordinated.
Neal P.
My work life balance issues came into focus after two major life events. First, I lost my job working for a firm. I started looking for work during the worst of the recession and found nothing. So as I looked for work, I pursued another passion: writing, and ended up writing two books about wine (a third passion) which I self published. After a full two years of unemployment, I decided if nobody would hire me, I would hire myself, and started my own practice. As I was coming to that decision, my significant other had a heart attack. His illness and recovery really brought into focus that if I was going to go into business for myself again (I’d had my own practice before), I was going to do it on my own terms.
My own terms, this time, included not killing myself for my clients. I have a family. I am the primary day time care giver for my significant other’s 92 year old mother. I have other passions that I want to include in my life. I can’t dedicate 40+ hours a week to my new practice, and I don’t want to. My goal is 20 billable hours a week at a competitive billing rate only doing projects I enjoy for clients I like. When I reach that point, I will be making more than a decent living. I know from past experience that it takes time to build a practice. This time I am being more strategic about how I do that and making sure that I keep my business objectives squarely up front in my mind and not get distracted chasing projects that don’t fit into my business plan. Nor am I chasing projects or doing business the way that others think I should.
Work/Life balance isn’t a luxury, it is essential.